Letters From Tim

We have been reunited for one week. And while we have relished being together again, there is something to be said about the term we heard often from the military…REINTEGRATION.

I found myself lacking the GPS coordinates to give to Tim when explaining the directions to Briggs’ baseball practice. Then, I actually heard him say, “Roger…proceed” when I told him the plans for our day ahead. I guess removing military jargon isn’t all that easy. On another occasion, I apparently didn’t give him enough context to a story I was telling because he stopped me mid-sentence and said, “I always told my guys that you can’t just start talking about a  specific subject, without a transition, or giving me the big picture of what you are talking about.” At that point, let me assure you, I wasn’t interested in continuing my story.

Tim has been extremely tuned into the children, extremely hands-on with everything around the house, and having the family whole again is more than words can describe.

With that being said, I think it is important to recognize that there is a reintegration period. I have had to remind myself repeatedly that my husband has just returned from a highly-stressful combat zone into a home with four noisy and needy children. I have tried to keep my ‘Type-A’ personality at bay and have bit my tongue on several occasions. Tim has complained that many things have been moved, I took over ‘his space’, and when he sees my non-reaction to the girls climbing on top of the table he comments that I have clearly been in ’survival-mode’ for the past year. After these comments, we both kind of chuckle. Through the truth there is a lot of humor.

Tim and I promised we would always uphold a united front with the children’s discipline. Well, for anyone else that uses this strategy, it can be challenging. While, I wholeheartedly agree with Tim’s messages and appreciate the reinforcement, I think his tone has been hard since returning, especially toward Briggs.

I could tell Briggs’ heart was hurting one night. So, we snuggled up underneath his sheets. He said, “Things were easier when Dad wasn’t here. I’m not sure I’m glad he is back.” That is when the ‘united front’ was critical. I explained to Briggs that we have to be patient. Daddy has been gone for a long time in a rough place and we all just need to get used to being together again.

Just like I wrote several posts ago…Embrace the Suffering…well now it is Embrace the Reintegration. The bottom line…is it takes some time but time is what we have most of right now. I am so happy to be married to this man who has returned HOME!