Just three
We had a peaceful evening…we built forts, setup a surgery center, watched Mr. Mom (one of our all-time favorites), and made magic rocks. Everyone seemed happy…getting along relatively well…not much drama. But toward the end of night, Briggs started falling apart.
He said to me with tears burning his eyes, “You have hurt my feelings everyday that daddy has been gone.” Talk about stabbing me in the heart. He continued with, “I liked it when it was just the three of us. Not all of my stuff got ruined.”
Interestingly enough, as he was ranting, the four charms on my necklace (the one I have not removed in a year) were dangling near his face. He started playing with each of them. I asked him how he would like my necklace if there was just one charm? He agreed it would be boring without his sisters and brother around. I explained that I liked it when it was just the three of us but I liked it much more with all of us.
Just before this onslaught of emotions, a good friend and military wife called me (thanks, Gwen). She said she was having a hard time and just wanted her husband home safe…out of Iraq. We seem to go through the same waves of emotions but at different times. Perhaps there was something in the air tonight. Perhaps it is just the nervous energy of their return home. The good thing is that it is soon…very soon!
Though the words were heartwrenching to hear, how wonderful that Brigg’s can even put his emotions in to words. It so difficult for adults and yet he is able to pinpoint how he is feeling and why. He loves his siblings but relishes his alone time with both you and Tim. Not much longer, you are in the home stretch!
Stay Gold!
Susan
Susan - April 1st, 2008 at 12:48 pmHow bittersweet, my friend. Those words tugged at my own “eldest child” heartstrings while contextually, you all have taken the typical situation and raised it to extraordinary. Take comfort in the knowledge that your firstborn will relish every second that his whole family is back together and will cherish the special “alone” time with him when Tim comes home.
But keep this blog. One day, when he asks a handsome younger brother and two darling sisters to stand up with him at his wedding or want to call them when there are special moments that ONLY a sibling (or three!) can understand, I suspect you’ll all be grateful for BOTH sides that tug at the heart of a sensitive seven year old.
Hang in, my friend,
Ellen
Ellen Osborn - April 2nd, 2008 at 3:18 amI miss that little guy. Can’t wait to; hug him, hold him, kiss his cheeks, read with him, play baseball, take him to breakfast and dedicate “Dad time,” to him.
tim - April 3rd, 2008 at 4:34 amI found Briggs in his room tonight holding your picture close and crying. In fact, he tried hiding his face and the frame under his sheets when I walked into his room. He had a hard time getting his breath. I just spooned his growing body. His sadness is so profound at times. After a few minutes, I remedied the situation with a hot bubble bath…all alone…no other little bodies to take up his space. He loves you so much. You are not only his dad but his best buddy!
tiffany - April 3rd, 2008 at 9:08 amI know from Briggs’ point of view it may feel like a real struggle right now but somewhere in all of this there are many MANY blessings. It seems like showing our kids the silver lining is a real challenge sometimes.
I hope that I as a parent am successful in teaching my kids a few things: how to express themselves openly without fear, how to love fearlessly, how to find and express gratitude even in what they see as their darkest moments but above ALL ELSE, I hope they know how much I truly and deeply love them.
From the sound of it, I think Briggs is getting a big dose of good old fashioned L-O-V-E from two AMAZING parents. You’re doing an incredible job. This will all be a faded memory soon….
Winden - April 3rd, 2008 at 10:02 amLast night when you told me the story of the tearfilled boy hiding the photo, the bathtub full of bubbles that followed… and the conversation that really started it all “you hurt my feelings everyday” I shared it with Paul. We both ached… then today in the car Kyle asked “Mommy, who is your brother? Daddy has 2″ I explained I didn’t have one… nor a sister, like daddy does. He made a face both of sadness and shock and said “that wouldn’t be any fun - you must have had no friends to play with you when you had to stay inside.” Briggs DOES feel that way too, I am certain of it…he doesn’t want there to only be one charm around your neck. Please know though, if he needs another night of trampolines and football and guitar hero III, with someone that is older than him until his best buddy comes home, we volunteer anytime. You have GREAT children. Thank you for spending a wonderful night with us! M
Monica - April 3rd, 2008 at 4:19 pmI can remember being a little kid and wishing at times that my parents had just had me; and I know Camryn has felt the same way too. It’s only as we get older, that we appreciate our siblings and the camaraderie we have. I couldn’t imagine not have my brother and sister around, and even though we don’t live that close together, we still have a tight bond. It’s something that I impress on my own children and I know one day they’ll understand. Right now, I enjoy those rare moments when they are playing nicely together and not arguing!
Heather - April 6th, 2008 at 2:14 pm