Letters From Tim

I was recently asked at my neighborhood Bible Study what I was most grateful for. I boldly responded, “Without question I am most grateful for Tim’s deployment.” I believe most were shocked around the room because this group of women has been particularly supportive over the past year.

I didn’t answer my health, my children or the safety of my husband. I didn’t even contemplate my answer because it encompasses all of that and more.

The deployment has forged deeper relationships (husband, children, family, friends, God) than I have ever had because I am more open than I have ever been (just read this blog for Pete’s sake). Forcibly, I have required myself to also find something to be thankful for each day no matter how much suffering ensued that day.

I truly respect my health, and that which my body can endure. I have suffered through, what I hope, are some of the darkest moments in my life. As deployed wives, there is no doubt that we have an immense responsibility when our husbands are deployed. On top of the incredible weight of keeping our families and homes intact, let’s be honest, there is also the overriding fear that our husbands won’t return. No one understands that feeling like a woman left behind while her soldier fights a war. However, without being trite, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger!

Everyday you can witness me rolling my eyes at the drama that ensues between the walls of our home. Everyday I yell at my children. Everyday I look forward to bedtime when the house is peaceful. BUT…everyday I love my children more authentically because I know that it has not been painless with just me. They have equally suffered, if not greater. What I do hope they learn from the suffering is to be more resilient and resourceful. I hope someday they will be tougher for it but also cherish our family unit more than they would have otherwise.

The love for my husband is greater for not only what he is doing for our country but his self-fulfillment. I respect him for providing for this family and keeping us close to his heart. I love my family and friends more for the sacrifices they have consistently made to support me both emotionally and logistically. And quite frankly, I love myself more because I believe I have maintained some form of dignity.

I would encourage those who are currently in the midst of a deployment (Hang On!), coming to the end of one (Amen!), or finding yourself close to one (Bless You!) to embrace the suffering! You will be more authentic in the end.

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Special thanks to…Randy Julian for setting up the trampoline with the most perfect timing…SPRING BREAK! Now the kids have no reason to be bored. Maureen Peterson for the fabric…cannot wait to use it for the girl’s room someday.