No Coincidence
The older I get (rather than the wiser) I believe less in coincidence and more in a divine plan.
I met an old friend for lunch yesterday. He actually hired me for my first job at Accenture. Not COINCIDENTALLY, he also hired Tim. We both graduated from the same Masters Program at Ball State and started with Accenture on the same day. I definitely don’t believe this was coincidence.
Anyway, every occasion I see Christopher I leave feeling energized (perhaps it is habitual use of the term ‘fire-up’) and inspired to be a better parent. My takeaways from this lunch were never to shame and love unconditionally. So far, I think I have the loving unconditionally down pretty well. But I suppose I haven’t been really tested by a disagreeable or hormonal teen yet either. However, I regretfully admit that I have shamed. As Christopher spoke, I recalled telling Briggs last weekend that he was ‘like a disease with his bad mood infecting the entire house.’ Once I ran that doozy past Christopher he said, “Yeah…pretty shameful. Those kind of comments can really stick with a kid.”
I found myself with my tail between my legs as Briggs returned home from school. I apologized for using a poor choice of words. I hope that sticks with him rather than the disease!
I am thankful there was no coincidence in meeting Christopher. He may have been my first boss but serves a much more important role as a life guide.
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SIMPLE PLEASURES
As a total side note…some very simple things in life can make one happy. I have had some serious appliance problems this week. A broken fridge (thank goodness for cold weather as our food items have taken residence on our back deck), a loud-as-can-be-rattling oven, and a non-drying dishwasher. Tonight, I am pleased-as-punch to say that my fridge is in working order and the oven sounds like a purring kitten. All is well.
…
Special thanks to…Sheryl for some warm soup and bread. Lisa for some great spaghetti pie. Beth for painting just before starting a new career. Kevin for helping me when my fridge busted. Patrick and Kristen…constant companions to my kids. Tracy, Becky, Michelle and Amy for carpooling. Nate for taking the boys to the Monster Truck Jam. Bill for helping build a great Pinewood Derby Car.
I also agree with the divine plan. As far as I’m concerned, there is NO such thing as random. Not at all. This seems to help make the gratitude come easily too. Hope you’re all well and, I imagine, excited to see Tim. xoxo
Winden - January 31st, 2008 at 9:17 pmI would be very interested in a recipe for spaghetti pie….seriously! It may be a great complement to CRS’s pretzel Jello.
Best to the Stoner 6!
TRowe - January 31st, 2008 at 11:21 pmIt’s also no coincidence that you’ve been hearing this same advice from your husband of 12 years, but I’m not sure you can hear the frequency I am transmitting on.
I’m just glad it finally rung a bell - regardless of who stated it.
Say hi, and thanks, to Christopher for me!
tim - February 1st, 2008 at 12:04 amClearly you are not one who shames their children on a regular basis. I have seen you in action and know that 99.9% of the time you are a caring, loving and patient mother. Don’t beat yourself up over it, you are parenting under extraordinary circumstances! No one is perfect. The beauty of it all is that you are able to go to Briggs and apologize. That will go much further in his memory/character building than anything else. Knowing his mom could own up to her mistakes.
susan
Susan - February 1st, 2008 at 10:44 amAm I the only one who doesn’t completely condem a little shame here and there as part of the development of conscience. When children have abominable behavior at an inappropriate time a little shame can work wonders. What is punishment, afterall? Maybe I should go and stand in a corner and think about it!
Would the spaghetti pie be good with the pierogi lasagna?
Aunt 9 - February 1st, 2008 at 11:35 amI have to say Aunt 9 makes a good point? You’d think she was a parent or something!:)
Susan - February 1st, 2008 at 3:40 pmI have to say Aunt 9 makes a good point. You’d think she was a parent or something!:)
Susan - February 1st, 2008 at 3:41 pmI agree with you Nine. We are from the “OLD” school afterall.
Jean - February 2nd, 2008 at 12:25 amTif you do an admirable job under the most stressful conditions. I don’t know many people if any who could come close in comparison.
Your children know you love them beyond measure and are always there a 100% for them. Teaching them to understand that bad behavior affects everyone in the household is okay - a lesson learned.
I also commend you for talking it over again with Briggs. It takes a tremendously strong person to apologize or say he/she was wrong. I hope he said the same back to you!!!
Love my daughter!
xoxoxo
Believe me…shame goes along way. My parents “shamed” me on occasion and look, I turned out perfect!
You do a great job, and your children are very lucky to have you as a mother.
xoxoxoxo,
Suzanne Sutliff - February 4th, 2008 at 12:26 pm