Letters From Tim

As I was running, I started thinking about the women that have contacted me with impending deployments ahead. For some, their husbands leave just after the holidays. It is hard to believe that Tim has been gone now for eight months. It seemed as if we had been planning and anticipating it for so long that we just wanted it to start.

I thought it would be helpful to share some advice so I compiled some of the top things that have pulled us through…

BEING GRATEFUL - No matter how crazy or trying each day is I try to find some goodness in it. You may recall one of my favorite “go nuts or laugh about it” moments was “Earshot“. I also have tried to live a life with an underlying layer of gratitude. Afterall, I believe I have everything I want with the exception of my husband in the comfort and safety of our own home. So before you go to bed…try to find one thing that made you happy during the day and hold on to it.

MUSIC - I wasn’t too much of a music aficionado before Tim left. But for some reason music has become an enormous part of our lives. It isn’t as if I need any more noise in the house but perhaps it has compensated for Tim’s absence. In any case, my iPod is on shuffle all day long…and I mean ALL DAY. I turn it on as we rise and turn if off as I am heading to bed. We find ourselves dancing a lot. It has been an excellent distraction. So…go to iTunes and start downloading.

RUNNING - I cannot report that my toosh is any smaller since Tim left. The seven pounds I was hoping to drop ‘from the twins’ haven’t necessary shed yet. HOWEVER, I take great pleasure in running. I run as often as I can and thoroughly enjoy every footstep. It is total therapy for my mind. So if running isn’t your thing…find something that makes you sweat.

SOLITUDE - I love my children but, let’s be honest, I don’t particularly like them sometimes. It has been an absolute necessity to have time alone. Babysitters have been a considerable success factor to the deployment. So…find someone you trust with your children and make a date with yourself. You can sometimes find me at my favorite sushi restaurant by myself. It is pure joy.

A PROMISE - I have a chain with four charms on it (all with the children’s names and birthdates). I promised myself that I would not remove it from my neck until Tim returned. It wasn’t as much a promise to Tim as it was to myself…a reminder to keep the Stoner Six intact. So…find something that grounds you on your body that you can touch everyday.

SAYING YES - Tim told our friends at a going away party that I would drown before I would ask for help. So I decided I would take anyone up on their offer and sought out assistance when needed. So…ask. People genuinely want to help they just sometimes don’t know in what capacity they can be used.

THE BLOG - This blog has provided me with the opportunity to express myself like I have not before. Becoming an ‘open-book’ has liberated me emotionally. So…write a private journal, develop your own blog, send love letters…whatever you feel comfortable with…just make sure you give yourself a chance to express your feelings. I find that once I have written a blog post I feel a sense of relief.

PRAYER - I guess it is no surprise that you turn to prayer when you most need it. The kids and I have prayed for Tim every night. I particularly love hearing their gentle voices talk to God about protecting their father, helping the people he is saving, and bringing him home safely.

Peace!
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Here are some images of a holiday party I attended last night with several friends of ours from college. Thank you to the McFarling’s for a great evening.