Letters From Tim

I learned a valuable lesson this week.

Tim has said in the past that I am quick to jump to conclusions and that I yell fire even before the blaze. And…unfortunately he may be right. Especially right now when me emotions are on the surface of my skin, I get very little rest, my frustration level is high and I have been feeling sick for over a week.

My dear friend and neighbor called to explain there was another ‘incident’ with Briggs. I cherish those relationships that are comfortable enough to share the good, the bad, and the ugly. It has been reported on a few occasions recently that Briggs has been using foul language. As she said the words, “Did you hear what happened on the bus yesterday?” my heart sank.

So…I took her information, flipped out, sent Tim an urgent email, rushed to Briggs school with twins in tow, pulled him out of class, cried in the hallway, and asked to speak to the principal and guidance counselor.

Briggs’ version of the story was that he was just being silly on the bus, however he had a difficult time repeating to me what he said to the bus driver. My mind was screaming “GUILTY!”

Side bar: I realize that all families have different levels of ‘acceptable language’ in their homes. Perfect example, we are not allowed to say “shut-up” in the Stoner House. I find it disrespectful. In fact, the rules are that any time that a cartoon says those words we have to change the channel. However, the word “fart” is pretty much thrown around on a daily basis. Personally, I don’t find the fart word offensive…it is what my dad called it growing up and I figure kids like to say it. Gage’s favorite book is called “All about farts”. But hopefully you see my point. There are some families that find fart very offensive but probably don’t mind shut-up.

Back to the story…

As the afternoon wore on, I was contemplating the disciplinary action I should take. Should I wash his mouth out with soap? He seemed scared when I had done that the night before to Gage. Should I take away friend privileges? TV? Christmas? Banish him to his room? All of the above?

But somewhere in the midst of my contemplation, it occurred to me I should talk to the bus driver first. I didn’t even know what really happened. I went straight to the source.

I have mentioned Janet the Bus Driver on several blog posts. Briggs loves her. They have formed a special relationship over the past two years. Considering I make Briggs ride in the front seat, he and she have a lot of time to joke around. I suppose that is why I was so confused by his lack of respect toward her. I figure there must be some psychology in all of this…acting out against people you care for.

Anyway, while Briggs was guilty of using inappropriate words (”shut up”), I was relieved to hear Janet’s rendition of the incident. It was conjured up in my mind far worse than she explained. Regardless, he used words I find unacceptable and a punishment will be followed through. The worst punishment I believe Briggs can get is hearing his dad from Iraq say, “I am not proud of what you said.”

It can be liberating to admit your faults. But most importantly, I will be ever so watchful before I lay down my gavel in the future. Right now I have to believe in the goodness of everything…including my children.

I got some great images from Thanksgiving. I will work on uploading those tonight.