Letters From Tim

Just as my children are learning…I am along with them in equal measure. Recently Briggs has been caught cheating and cussing. Now before I go into the details…let me assure you I think he really is a fantastic kid. I don’t believe in bad kids, I believe kids make bad choices. Unfortunately, we have some tough lessons to learn while Tim is absent.

I can tell Briggs needs my attention. As soon as the three little ones are asleep he wants to ‘hang’ with me. Not really what I particularly want after getting everyone to bed but he becomes a chatterbox. So…sometimes we stay up late.

Last week we sat down for a rematch of Battleship. I had caught him cheating several days before. At his age, I refuse to let him cheat. He needs to learn how to play fair. His punishment was no video game privileges until he played a fair game against me. I don’t think he’ll cheat again. He won fair and square. And there is no better feeling than a deserved win.

Then I got a call from a dear friend…her sons reported that Briggs had been using a bad word. Before becoming unglued, we investigated to understand exactly which expletive he was using…sure enough it was the granddaddy of them all!

When Briggs arrived home from school today…he had three pieces of paper waiting for him. The first was an apology letter from me. I explained that I sometimes don’t make good decisions and use inappropriate words. The second was his punishment for choosing to repeat bad words. And, the third was a list of those families he needed to write an apology letter to.

While he didn’t openly admit to his wrongdoings, he didn’t fight me either. He knew he was busted. He spent the next several hours in his room. Despite the remorse in his eyes, he was mad…he ripped some of the paper I had given him to write on. But as time passed, his desk was organized and the pen was out. The discipline does not stop there, by the way.

Here is the letter he wrote to each family. I had to scan a copy before we hand delivered them. These are the kinds of things that must be kept for prosperity.

So…as I wrote…I am learning too. I want to raise an honorable kid. My words have to be chosen carefully in the height of frustration (and remember I can lose my patience easily once a certain threshold has been reached). To add to my ‘Good Things’ list…it does take a village to raise a child. I would never have known any of this unless two of my neighbors called me. It takes a lot of courage to tell a mother that kid is making bad choices. Let me assure you, I am open to the feedback.

Tim told me I should just ‘nip it in the bud’. I explained to him that it is a little easier said than done. With four at home alone, I definitely have to pick my battles.

Sidenote: I spoke with Tim this evening. He is doing well but described Iraq as a meatgrinder. They have seen some terrible things. I will let him elaborate.