Letters From Tim

While Tim’s father was visiting Tuesday he asked me if I minded if he came to the airport to say goodbye. I appreciated him wanting to respect our privacy but I replied, “If my son were leaving for war I would certainly want to see him off.” That’s all the exchange that was needed.

It got me thinking that while I might be experiencing some difficulty with Tim deploying, it must be an entirely different feeling for a father. Afterall, he was the first one to lay eyes on Tim. Then I got thinking about John.

My father-in-law is one of the best men I know. Seriously…an incredible guy. I cannot think of anyone who would have a foul thing to say about him. What I have come to learn over the years is that everyone loves John Stoner…young, old, white-collar, blue-collar, extroverts, introverts…they just like him.

There is nothing fancy about John. He doesn’t come from much other than a crew of seven siblings in a small, Southern Indiana town. They all live within only a few miles radius.

I would bet he has been sipping his Java from the same cup since I met Tim despite us buying him replacements for several Christmases. He sits in the same seat at his kitchen island everyday (see picture below). He likes guns. He likes going to auctions. He LOVES babies.

Before he retired, he worked…and worked hard. What he says he is going to do he does. He has a huge head and enormous fingers (I started calling him hot dog hands). As I have mentioned in a previous post, he talks to you head on and straight on. He is always genuinely curious to know how you are.

He teases me…well, I guess he teases everyone. But I like it. We give each other a hard time. Kind of the Stoner way.

John will visit us but NEVER spend the night. While we have grown accustomed to his strange need to sleep in his own bed, we still wish he would be more flexible. The only time he did was last summer…out of necessity.

Tim was gone for three weeks for Army training very soon after we brought the twins home. At one point during the trip, I called him at 3am while I was walking a screaming Campbell (our loudest baby by far) around the house. I was exhausted, beginning the ‘meltdown stage’ of being alone with four children after two major abdominal surgeries. Instead of Tim gently talking me through it, he actually said, “You are kind of going psycho.”

Now visualize my reaction if you will. Because I can now look back on it with great humor. I said, “Psycho? Psycho? No…this is psycho!” I put down the baby…and start slamming the phone as hard as I can on the counter. Once I put the phone back to my ear, I heard Tim say, “I am calling my Dad to come stay for a few days.”

The next morning John, and his wife, Robertine, were on my doorstep with packed bags. Out of his comfort zone but willing to do whatever it is we needed.

So, even though John hasn’t joined us all in the 21st century with computers and internet connectivity…

John - Thanks for teaching my husband to be a great man! He learned from the best.

…
Special thanks to…Melissa for keeping me company. Tracy for another easy, don’t-think-about-it dinner. My mom for letting me run even though she hadn’t been home from work. All my friends and neighbors that called me the day after Tim left. Amie for the sleepover with Briggs. Ken for fixing my sink and taking Briggs to a movie. Becky Zimpfer for a delicious meal even if it made me cry.